Wednesday, May 8, 2013

My Advice To The World: Be The Mirror

Today's BEDIM prompt is to write about your advice to the world.  The best relationship advice I ever read was by Lidia Netzer and it is titled: 15 Ways to Stay Married For 15 Years.  While I agree with all of them, the one I really took to heart and I firmly believe works no matter how long or short you have been married is number 4:

4. Be the mirror.

Your husband is the mirror in which you see yourself. And the things you say to him give him an image of himself too, which he will believe. You want him to believe it, so make it good. Be a mirror that reflects something positive: you’re smart, you’re successful, you’re fantastic in the sack, you’re a great provider, you’re the best. Can you MAKE him any of these things just by telling him he is? I don’t know, but consider this: the alternative really sucks. The things my husband says to me are 1000 times more convincing than anyone else’s opinion on earth. Don’t think he won’t believe you because you’re married and you’re contractually obligated to say nice things. He’ll believe the shitty, insulting things you say, and the gloriously positive things.


I agree with her that we might not put much stock in what other people think of us, but the things our partners think, we believe.  If this is true in any form, reflect only positive and beautiful things to your partner.  Of course, we fight and disagree, but I really try to tell my husband everyday that I am so proud to be his wife and that there is no one I would rather be with than him.
My other piece of advice is to never take away your partner's intentions to show you love and affection.  I understand that sometimes we don't want to feel like we are taking advantage of our loved ones, but everyone shows affection in different ways and we should never stop those around us from bestowing their love and care upon us.  If your friends, family and romantic partners can't spoil you rotten, who will?  We attended a wine tasting trail out in Grapevine last month and I never got around to posting the photos.
Dress: Max Studio (from March)
Earrings: c/o Lavishy at LuckyFABB
Hummingbird Necklace: c/o Dogeared Jewelry at LuckyFABB
Solitaire Necklace: Gift from Dad (old)
Bracelets: Fossil & Lauren Ralph Lauren; Ring: Kate Spade via eBay
Tote: Rebecca Minkoff; Scarf: BCBGMaxAzria
Sandals: Cole Haan
What is your advice to the world? Link up with Jenni here.

14 comments:

  1. "Be the mirror" is genuinely wonderful advice. One that has helped me over the years is the classic "don't go to bed angry"; meaning to me that you should always try to resolve any conflict as soon as possible. Life is too short to stew in anger.

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    1. Ha! It's funny that you say that, because we finally reach a point of exhaustion and we say "Forget it! Let's just go to sleep and continue in the morning after coffee!" But you are right, that life is too short to be angry with the ones you love.

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  2. Great post darling. I hope to be married someday but I need to find mr. right for marriage first!!
    xx
    www.JuneWantsItAll.com

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    1. Thank you, June! I hope that you will find Mr. Right. When my husband and I met, I didn't think he was The One, but the more I got to know him, the more I really admired him. I wish everyone a love like this because I really believe that everyone should be this happy. Even when we fight or break each other's hearts, I can't imagine fighting or having my heart broken by anyone else. Your prince will come, I know it!

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  3. Ah your so cute, this post so great! I totally want your wine tote by the way...LOL

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    1. Thanks! It is an older design by Rebecca Minkoff (I think 2009 or 2010?) and I started looking for it last year when my brother in law announced that they were having a vineyard wedding. I found it late last year on eBay, of course!

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  4. What a gorgeous maxi! That wine/cheese tote is adorable too! That is really great advice to be the mirror.

    -Sharon
    The Tiny Heart
    $50 PayPal Giveaway!

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  5. to "be the mirror" is sound advice that can be applied to all relationships. it certainly makes you stop and take a look (no pun intended) at what you're putting out there.

    BTW: you truly know how to work a maxi!

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    1. Thank you, Donna! I agree, I try to remember that with my husband's kids, too. I love it.

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  6. Hi there, just stopping by to say how delightful your blog is. Thanks so much for sharing. I have recently found your blog and am now following you, and will visit often. Please stop by my blog and perhaps you would like to follow me also. Have a wonderful day. Hugs, Chris
    http://chelencarter-retiredandlovingit.blogspot.ca/

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  7. Love this! Great advice for a marriage, or any relationship in your life!

    XO
    Pearls & Paws

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    1. So true, Heather! I agree and thank you for stopping by!

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Tell me what you think, but be nice! You catch more flies with sugar than spice!